Everytime

Who's ready for ramadan? 

I'm not someone who is religious enough, to talk about it, or to talk about it like I will be a very decent servant, just to exaggerating things. I'm not.

It just . . . everytime ramadan is near, my heart will beats so fast and full of excitement. I guess, many of us would feeling that way too. But still, it's a one of my sources of a joyous moment. So I want to write about it.

Back then, in my hometown. When I was very little. There's like Tabuh Bedug, to mark or announce, if ramadan is near. Luckily, back then my home was close enough to the masjid, so I can heard it clearly, or even watched it.

I'm not sure though, how or when exactly they decided to do tabuh bedug before ramadan. Like, what time or day, or how many days before, or else. I was to young, to understand, or I just can't remember it properly. All I did is just became full of excitement, and so I came near to them, to watched it. 

Ah, did you read before that I wrote, I would cry just to see someone else wedding’s just because it was held same as my tradition? Haha. That's was right. I'm crying to see those things. Although I'm not even close enough to the bride or the groom, to makes me crying or feel touched on their weds 😫

Memories of my childhood is dark yet colorful enough. I'm grateful that I still be able to experienced those things. Now that I'm so far away, it gives me a heart break or tears if I remember, or if I was in a situation like what I have experienced back then. 

I miss them. I miss the places, I miss the vibes, i miss every part of it who made little me laugh and feel happy. I even miss, the wind who goes through my skin, and get me chills in the morning.

It was a blurry memory. It's dark and it's blue. Whatever, everytime, something makes me remember about my roots, my heart ache. It's an regretful memories, yet I'm so grateful to have little bit of it. So I can have it wherever I go, even though I'm might be wouldn't be able to comeback, I still can carry each of it on my heart.